My Profound Weekend...

I feel so amazing after the insight I gained this weekend. I learned so many little lessons that it turned out to be quite profound.

So a friend of mine, Michael, came to town on Friday night. He had asked me to join him for a concert of his favorite musician. Although I didn't have any connection to this singer/ songwriter I figured it would be a great new experience with a wonderful friend. Well, not surprisingly, we had a fantastic time. The night was full of laughter and cheer, new people, and new adventures. After he left town the next day I felt so exhilarated, as if I had just taken a ten mile run. Michael is a person of incredible optimism and energy. Whenever we spend time together I'm reminded of those same qualities that have always been within me. I feel inspired and reminded of things that I feel passion for. I also just like who I am when I'm around him. It was wonderful and the good feelings lasted all day long.

That evening I met a different friend of mine for a movie. This man, who shall remain nameless, is someone that I've hung out with this last year, but have grown increasingly frustrated with. He can be cynical, negative, and critical of me at times. Of course there are positive qualities there too, but the negative ones can be pretty brutal. Often I find myself excusing his behaviour since I know that fundamentally he's a good person--a habit I am realizing I engage in all too often. Perhaps I should be paying more attention to a persons actions and not just their potential?

Well, after leaving this man I felt horrible; sorry that I had spent time with him. Juxtaposing these two experiences really opened my eyes to the importance of surrounding myself with positive and encouraging people. I understand now, that I emotionally and psychologically respond to the people I communicate with and it is up to me to make sure that I am making good choices.

My "As I Learn It" List ...

1. Be in the present moment. By staying "checked in" to my current choices, circumstances, goals I avoid getting lost in the unknown, the unforseen, and the unexpected. I will stay in the now. (2/17/10)

2. Create and maintain relationships with positive, honest, and encouraging people. Let go of the unhealthy relationships. Be mindful of the relationships I am creating. (2/21/10)

3. When I begin to look for an "out", an excuse, or choose to ignore my goals, I am choosing to continue of cycle of unhappiness, lonliness, and self-destruction.

Staying in the now...

It seems that anytime I set my sights on a goal, I immediately begin to think about all of the circumstances where it "feels" impossible to stick to the goal. For example, if I think about again committing to a vegetarian diet, I start feeling anxiety about traveling the world and not eating meat. It is true that when I travel I feel that it's important to take part in the cuisine as much as possible, the reality of my current life is that I am not traveling but am at home, living my normal, everyday life. So, instead of dealing with any obstacle when it arises, I, instead obsess over the possible obstacles. This is defeating any goal before I even commit to it.



Something for me to keep in mind as I move forward in The Integrity Project is to stay present and checked in to my real moments... not what could be or will be, but what my life is at the moment.